Heya, fam!
I usually post “Lovely Meals Lately” on Wednesdays, but life flipped upside down this past week, so those posts will likely be on pause until things feel more normal. I may still share lifestyle content on Wednesdays depending on how things go—writing remains a creative outlet for me, and I’m endlessly grateful for it.
Mental update
I was admitted to the hospital Monday evening for a roughly four-week stay after a vasa previa diagnosis. My c-section is scheduled for January 4th at 36 weeks (the latest they’ll let me go). I’m hoping he keeps cooking until then and that my time here is calm and uneventful.
Being surrounded by attentive doctors and nurses is comforting — they can get little man out safely if he decides to make an early entrance. Fingers crossed he’ll arrive fashionably late like his mama!
Before this, I had a steady routine: hibernating at home, balancing restaurants, getting recipes ready for the blog before baby arrives, and keeping an eye on our bathroom renovation. If Jeff (or anyone) were allowed to stay with me in the room, this experience would feel very different. Visitors aren’t permitted to remain with me until I deliver.
The good news: I’m not on bed rest. I can meet my husband or a friend outside for about an hour, and there’s a Panera near the hospital where we can meet, which helps. The campus is quiet with no students around and strict visitor policies, so it feels safe and pretty empty except for hospital staff.
I managed the impending hospital stay fine until this weekend, when the reality of leaving home for a month hit hard. Jeff and I got sad for a bit, but then he suggested a Backstreet Boys dance party and that lifted my spirits immediately.
Many have asked how I’ve stayed so positive. I’m focusing on gratitude for this healthy baby and how quickly we conceived, but I want to be honest that what you see online is only a small part of a difficult time for us.
On Sunday, the day before I was due to leave, I woke up with a nasty stomach virus. It began with severe cramps that made me worry I was in labor. After talking to my doctor and confirming it was gastrointestinal, not uterine, I felt relieved. I ended up vomiting most of the day (thankfully it held off during my virtual baby shower) and eventually recovered late in the afternoon after plenty of Gatorade and saltines.
As if that wasn’t enough, I got my first-ever nosebleed as we were leaving for the hospital. What a time to be alive!
These past few weeks have tested my limits. Whenever I catch myself thinking “why me,” I try to reframe it to “why not me?” Perspective matters.
Nurses and doctors check in constantly, and FaceTime with friends and family helps. Between that and ongoing work for Alchemy and this blog, I’m keeping busy and trying to keep a routine for sanity. The love from family, friends, and this online community has made this abrupt change so much easier.
I’m hoping to be moved to a room with a window soon — I need natural light. My current roommate is only 18 and had her water break at 20 weeks, which was a stark reminder of how fortunate I am to still be carrying at 32 weeks.
Weekends may be tougher once the novelty wears off, but I’ve brought books, shows, and coloring activities to stay occupied. I’m focusing on keeping stress low for the baby.
Pregnancy is hard at the best of times, and even more so during a pandemic. Hospital visitor policies mean Jeff can’t attend prenatal appointments or stay with me until delivery, and post-baby visitation will likely be limited if COVID cases peak. That isolation is a real challenge.
To other moms going through this alone: I received a sweet video from a friend that really uplifted me, and on the bright side, when everyone is stuck inside we’ll have the sweetest baby to snuggle.
What I’m eating
For breakfast I’m relying on non-perishables I packed from home — oatmeal, cereal, bananas, apples, peanut butter, and bagels. Lunch is usually from Alchemy Meal Prep, and dinners are a wildcard. Big thanks to Jeff, who brought lasagna, salad, and garlic bread recently. Having worked at this hospital before, I knew the food wouldn’t be great, so I came prepared.
Food is one of the simple joys right now, so I’m choosing things I love. Being in the restaurant business makes managing hospital meals easier, and I’m grateful for that.
It’s strange to accept that I won’t be cooking for a month and that recovery from surgery will limit what I can do when I return home. I’m embracing the enforced rest. Jeff is making Hummusapien recipes to keep us fed — he’s bringing buddha bowls tonight — and my mom will visit when the baby arrives. She’s an excellent cook and a baby whisperer, which will be an enormous help.
(My plan to do hair and makeup for the shower didn’t happen, LOL.)
Sending virtual hugs and so much gratitude for your uplifting messages. Love you all dearly!