I’ve wanted to write this for a long time but needed time to process everything before I could put it into words. After my earlier post, I still hadn’t fully absorbed our move, and I wasn’t ready to offer advice or support. As my friend Natasha said on the podcast, “you don’t need to be cured to help others.”
Although much of the chaos from our cross-country move is behind us, the last step for me was to share the whole experience. In this post I’ll cover the major lessons we learned, recap the journey, and include moments I didn’t share earlier because I needed space to think. We left Toronto in September 2016 and arrived in our San Francisco apartment in January 2017 — a lot happened in between, and thankfully my phone captured much of it.
In the video I outline the top lessons learned from moving across the continent. Below I’ll walk through the trip and highlight things I wish I had known beforehand. I held back from sharing some of this earlier because I needed time to process, but I hope these reflections help anyone planning a big life move.
The move actually happened in two parts: we left Toronto in September, and spent about seven weeks in Minnesota that fall before continuing west.
LEAVING TORONTO
Packing up our life in Toronto was one of the hardest things I’ve done. The emotional impact hovered for months, while the physical exhaustion was immediate. There were many tears and some chaotic moments — like trying to remove a box spring stuck in an elevator for 20 minutes. It was tough.
Yes — that box spring really did get wedged in the elevator and it took ages to get out.
After a grueling moving day I stayed with my parents while C returned to the apartment to patch holes and finish clearing things out. Reviewing these photos still makes me emotional: that place was our first home together, where we hosted friends and family, cared for Rhett, and later brought Bodhi home. Seeing it empty was painful, but with time I’ll remember the good moments more than the ache of leaving.
From Toronto we drove to Minnesota (via Chicago) to stay with C’s family for several weeks.
ARRIVING IN MINNESOTA
Our little guy handled the car time like a champ; he was so small then!
Settling into Minnesota felt like a relief after the move. With C’s family nearby, crisp fall weather, neighborhood parks, and cozy coffee shops, life slowed down in a good way. It was tempting to stay. I still adore that area and hope to visit again soon.
When our belongings arrived in Minnesota they were stacked and piled, but most things made it through. We made some big mistakes during the move — watch the video for details if you’re planning something similar.
P.S. If you’re from Minnesota and want a roundup of my favorite places there, let me know — I’ve explored a lot over the last five years and would love to share recommendations.
We left Minnesota in mid-November and documented our road trip west. The trip included visits to Badlands National Park, Colorado, Moab and Arches National Park, Capitol Reef and Boulder in Utah, and ended in California.
LANDING IN SAN FRANCISCO
Arriving in California brought mixed emotions. I was still dealing with the aftermath of a previous crash and doubted our decision to leave Minnesota. I felt scared, sad, overwhelmed, excited, and relieved all at once. Making it to San Francisco was a milestone, but the hardest parts still lay ahead and I wasn’t emotionally prepared.
The first week in SF was special — it was Thanksgiving, and we spent a night at the West Point Inn on Mt. Tam, which felt like a warm welcome to the Bay Area.
C’s family kindly hosted us in SF, and many December blog posts were written from their home. That month was busy: we handled blog work and holidays while sorting out car insurance, credit history (neither of us had U.S. credit), and apartment hunting. Health took a backseat — I barely exercised for nearly six weeks and subsisted on snack bars and dried fruit. There was lots of car-eating as we drove from apartment to apartment.
This was a difficult period for me, as I shared previously. We faced the common challenges of relocating, navigating SF’s competitive housing market, and grieving what we’d left behind. My biggest regret is not being more transparent during that time, but I also needed space to heal. Fortunately, things began to improve.
At the end of December we signed an apartment and slowly regained stability. We then took a family trip to Guatemala, which helped decompress and prepare us to move into our new place.
MOVING INTO OUR APARTMENT
We arrived back from Guatemala and moved into our apartment about six hours after landing. The first thing I wanted to do was cook, but we had almost nothing. Fortunately C’s sister gave us a “survival guide” of essentials, and those items saw us through the first couple of weeks.
Based on lessons from shipping our things to Minnesota, we handled delivery to SF differently. It was less grueling but also meant our belongings took about a month to arrive. For the first few weeks we worked from our one piece of furniture — a couch that we’d splurged on — until the rest of our items arrived.
When our mattress finally arrived I spent the first half hour reveling in it — it felt amazing to have a proper bed again.
A month later, while I was traveling in Israel, the remainder of our things arrived. Having my kitchen gear back and the ability to truly nest has been wonderful. We still have work to do settling in, but we’re taking our time to shape a home we’re excited about. An apartment tour is coming soon.
These past six months have been a whirlwind. I hit a very low point, but I’m grateful for the experience. We left Toronto seeking adventure, and while not every moment was positive, the challenges tested us and helped us grow. The stagnation I had been feeling is gone, and I’m eager to grow further in our new home.
I hope you’ll forgive my silence during the transition and that this update helps anyone weighing a big move. My advice: do it. Expect it to be hard, because meaningful changes rarely are easy. Moving pushes you beyond your comfort zone and opens new opportunities — sometimes the best way to grow is to flip your life upside-down.